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Dec. 15th, 2012 | 12:11 am

Today has been pretty awful and very upsetting - enough to prompt me to blog again.

First, I was studying in Panera when an elderly woman (late 80s probably) right next to me started choking.  It was the scary sort of noiselessness choking. I could have saved her life by at least trying to do the Heimlich maneuver on her. Instead, I just stood up and panicked. Thankfully there was a braver person a bit farther from us came to the rescue, and the whole ordeal was resolved before I could fumble to dial 911. I felt ashamed and saddened. Here I am studying to be a doctor, when I failed help someone in a god-given moment. The scene of the chocking old lady has been playing over and over in my head all day since.

Second. A random guy sitting next to us paid for our drinks when my roommates and I were out for dinner tonight. He thought I was pretty and liked my top (which was a pretty hideous Made-In-China thing I wore because it’s been sitting neglected in my closet for a long time). It was the first time that both roommates and I had gone out to dinner all together, so we wanted to chat. Even though we did talk with the guy (who bought us the drink) for a while, we were also attempting to talk amongst ourselves. It must have appeared rude and ungracious. I know that he did not have to pay for our drinks, and that letting him pay for our drinks is not obligating us to speak with him. Nonetheless, I just cannot help from imagining how he would feel foolish and sad when he went home.

Not a lot of things get to me. Having someone being upset or angry at me is not one of them, even though I may never see them again.

*sigh, maybe I can forget all this tomorrow. I do have a lot to stuff into my brain before the exams next week!

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